This is more for me to put my thoughts into words, but also for anyone out there who might find this in some way amusing or has a similar situation. For the past three years I have been to two different universities and failed at both of them.. well not really failed, but gave up. I got kicked out of one class because the professor said I obviously don't care enough and it's not fair to the others who pour their soul and life into it. He is completely and utterly right. I don't care, so now I have to ask myself what do I want to do with this one chance we all get at this life thing. People have been telling me that I should've gone to an art academy, because I have potential? I guess. Because of my long hiatus my art has deteriorated, at least from what I can tell, but it's not catastrophic. I might not know how to draw hands properly, but it's never too late to learn.
I feel like you always have these junctions in life and tough decisions have to be made, it's part of being a grown up or sth. I've thought about this a lot to the point that it made me depressed, but I finally got tired of my inhibition and lack of energy. All I've ever wanted to do is draw. I might draw a lot of fanart, but I do have my own characters to bring to life. I have to improve and I can only do it with hard work. I don't have enough money to get into the art academy, but I never believed a diploma makes an artist, only hard work and passion do. I'm currently waiting to upgrade my drawing software, because the one I have is buggy and crashes a lot. After I get it I hope to start making short comics. More as a practice than an actual cohesive whole. Hopefully this will lead to me making an actual comic with a story and awesome stuff and lots of explosions and plot holes, but stories need time to develop just like improving your art does. Maybe one day I'll be able to make a career out of this, but for now I'll just try to get better.
That's about all I have to write for now.. thanks to all those who've added any of my stuff to their favorites and wrote nice comments. It's all appreciated even if I sometimes like to pretend they are not directed at me... because I sure as hell don't know how to take a compliment. :3